40 Years of Fly Fishing Questions

Since those days of over 60 years ago when my father would take me to a cabin in the Waugashonce wilderness area for the summer, nature has always come easy to me, the smell of a pine forest or a cedar swamp. An old crooked oak tree has always marked the way home. Sun and wind direction have always been my guides.
Now, at my age in the forest and on the river, I am no longer living the dream, but rather dreaming the dream. Everything just get a little hard year after year.
Fly fish guiding has been my joy for years and I get asked a lot of questions from Clients. Some so memorable I would like to share a few with you. And yes these are real questions I have gotten. The answers may be more of what I would have like to said.

Question : What kinda place is this, there's no cell phone service?
Answer:  A nice place!

Question : I never new trees grew so close together!
Answer : We call it a forest.

Question : Are we in the Upper Peninsula?
Answer : No, you have to cross one of the worlds largest bridges to get there?

Question : Is that a perch.
Answer : No it's a Brook Trout.

Question : Gee I have never been on a dirt road before.
Answer : Most of my favorite memories happened on dirt roads, that includes my Prom night.

Question : Where's the bathroom?
Answer : Your standing in it.

Question : Which way is down stream?
Answer : That's we're you go when you fall in.

Question : What am I doing wrong?
Answer : Fly fishing!

Question : I brought my own rod & reel, were do I start with it?
Answer : First you fill out the warranty card.

Question : What was that?
Answer : A trout hitting your fly.

Question : Do we keep the trout.
Answer : Only if you're starving?

Question : Will we be home by cocktail hour?
Answer : That's usually when the fish start biting, so pack a thermos of Martinis.

Question : Where are we?
Answer : That's a good question?

Question : It's...it's getting dark!
Answer : Always does this time of day.

Question : What if it rains?
Answer : It never rains under water.

Question : Are the bears dangerous?
Answer : Only the Black ones .

Just so you know, when I'm out of my element, like going to a large gathering of people at a Detroit Tiger baseball game, I can't find my way back to my seat from the hot dog stand. Everything is relative.